Coping With COVID-19

Well, it’s been two brutal weeks with the coronavirus! It has literally changed our lives today and for the foreseeable future. During this time, I have continued to work with my patients, but with some signiificant changes in our sessions. Worry, depression, and panic and fear have become very common place in our work regarding COVID-19 I thought I would summarize some of the advice I have been giving to my patients and for friends and general population. It is at times a struggle to alleviate their concerns, as well as mine. In some ways I am talking aloud to weather these tough and unusual times.

The COVID-19 has brought us all together to one place. That is, a loss of freedom! We also have to be live by some very strict guidelines issued by the President’s task force. We are looking after each other in many ways!! I am hoping I can assist some of the people visiting the website with the strategies/interventions I have been giving to ease this sudden transition from freedom to being fenced in physically, as well as, emotionally. Some of you are working from home full-time and others have lost their employment so sudden and serious loss. Equally vulnerable are our elderly or permanently disabled who may be in relatively good health, but are confined now to their homes. They cannot see their families, grandchildren or friends. Finally, parents have become their children’s teachers. This arrangement may continue to the end of the year. Freedom can only be appreciated in times like these, but developing strength from adversity and coping with change may be equally critical. We have an opportunity to learn from this situation and to also teach our children.

In my work, I talk to my patients about developing a self-care voice. The self-care voice helps us through the journey in life, in good times and bad. The sudden nature of the COVID-19 cripples our way of living, but can also be turned into a meaningful time as we find ways to comfort ourselves, and create stronger bonds wiith our spouses, children, parents and other family members. To fortify the “self-care voice” in individuals, I have made some recommendations to weather this storm and to help themselves and to increase availability to others.

Often times, people express that they are overwhelmed with the amount of information available from all different directions. Turn on any TV no matter the source and the COVID-19 is being discussed. The media has to find ways to entertain us and prop-up ratings. So, in this landscape, you will find contradictions, misinformation and at times, scary predictions. I encourage people to set a limit on surfing the channels. My recommendation is the same to all. Only watch the President’s task force at the end of each day. Listen to only Drs. Fauci, Birx, Adams, and Redfield. They are reviewing the data with their staff probably by the hour. They are making the decisions to make every effort to curtail the spread of the virus. They should be our main source. If you tend to be nervous, anxious or fearful, too much information will increase your tendencies to go down that rabbit hole. More negativity should be avoided.

Another recommendation I have been giving to patients is to “TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME”, and not to forecast into the future. More easily said than done. The future does not exist especially in these times when information is changing daily. Thinking about tomorrow, next week, next month several months from now is not a useful use of time. One patient discussed the fact that school has ended , no camps in the summer, and closed community centers, e.g. pools. Such thinking and feelings only intensifies anxiety, worry, and fear. Just think that each day is a building block toward being free to be in our world again. THINK ONE DAY AT A TIME!

To focus on one day at a time, it is critical to develop and “ACTIVITY SCHEDULE”. This schedule will give you three critical self-care feelings: (1) provides a feelings of stability and constancy (2) establishes a daily routine that anchors you to your day and (3) gives upon review a sense of productivity and accomplishment. So the “activity schedule” needs to include things that you wish to accomplish during the day. I have suggested there be activities that you do everyday for a routine.

First and foremost, do not wake up each morning without a planned schedule (those of you working from home, fortunately, have a built in daily schedule). Secondly, although you may have the best of intentions, do not schedule an all day project or one that takes 5 hours or more hours. It is best to chunk your time into 60 or 90 minute segments with a number of activities. There should be a blend of some pleasurable and routine actives, e.g., running a household, family centered activities.

Each day could begin with a walk, weather permitting, or some form of exercise, and even opportunity for more movement in the afternoon or early evening. A block of time 30 to 60 minutes. Obviously, there are work schedules for some, so their days are full. If you are not employed right now, continue to develop a daily schedule around household activities, teaching, hobbies, gardening etc. Recently I have received good results with a recommendation to listen to audio books, e.g., novels you enjoy or various types of literature.. I offer this because when adults read to us when we were children, it promoted positive and warm feelings. It was a soothing experience. So try to reconnect to it. This can be built into your schedule daily for 30-45 minute periods of time. It is private time with no interruptions!

Also, I am recommending that you try to carve out time for some old favorite movies that made you feel good. This experience brings you back to more positive times, and gives a “FEEL GOOD SENSATION” . Maybe, reconnect with your spouse around these movies and times. Also, consider listening to the music of your youth. Music brings back old times when things may have been more joyful and problem free. In times of adversity, we want to feel whole and secure. Return to the safety of comfort foods, activities that made you feel good and connected with others.

Parents are hard pressed and very stressed today, to say the least. They are parents foremost, but now have to quickly adapt to the roles of teacher, playground aide, cafeteria cook, and social director every day, all day. I have been encouraging parents to take turns with the children during the day, if possible. It is difficult, whether both parents have work schedules or one parent is in charge of the household. At this time 3 essential skills need to be in place: (1) collaboration/strong communication system; (2) ability to negotiate different opinions; and (3) formulation of compromises.

The three skills mentioned above can be developed initially by listening to each other and not becoming defensive in what your mate is saying to you. Each parent needs to focus how their partner feels and thinks about the actions to deal with being homebound. Partners have different ways in dealing with a crisis. Respect for each others opinion is essential. Conveying mutual respect furthers cooperation and problem solving. It is a time to connect to your partner to organize experiences that are helpful and meaningful. Partners need to arrange time alone to make decisions and plan daily experiences. It is critical to collaborate and place differences aside.

Be well, safe and careful!!!